Marissadventures

Friends Who Hawaii Together, Stay Together

1:51:00 PM

So, one of the worst things about living in Hawaii is the turnover rate. Hawaii is a place for wanderers, students, and military families, all three of which are temporary. As someone who's had the same best friends since middle school, losing friends is not something I take lightly. Before I had even lived on island for a year, I had already made lifelong friends that were moving off-island. See, here in Hawaii when you find a friend that you vibe with, you don’t let them go. Unless you were born and raised here, you are a transplant that is far away from home and their comfort zone, so finding your “tribe” is one of the greatest moments.

Nine months into my life in Hawaii, and five months into Nate’s first deployment, two of my greatest friends on island had left to go back to their home states. This was a bizarre feeling for me because I’ve known most of my best friends from home since I was 12-13 and I got to hang out with them every day as much as I wanted. Moving to Hawaii I started finding these people that I loved dearly and that were changing me in great ways… and then THEY LEFT. YEP. Just picked up and moved and I wasn’t ready for it AT ALL. Like Wait, what? I met this new person that I love and they’re just GONE!? HOW IS THIS FAIR?!

Well it’s not fair and it sucks. There are some friends that I’ve made on island that I know for a fact I will never see again after we are separated. Then there are those friends that I’ve known since the beginning that they were life-long, and they don’t have a choice when I’m knocking on their door other than to let me in. Sorry beezys! The most beautiful thing about these friendships being separated is that we can continue to see each other forever in fun ways! We can plan trips to see each other (once I’m back on the mainland) and I can’t wait to grow old having girls trips with my friends all over the country. I know forever that I will have a person to see when I’m in Michigan, or California, or on the East Coast. I know it’s cheesy but not all friendships need a 10 year start, to live next door, or to talk every day. All I know is that if Kayla or Amanda – my greatest transplant friends, ever called me in the middle of the night, I would be there in a heartbeat.

Maybe I’m still a little salty that you just left me high and dry… but I’m so proud of you guys and I love watching your lives progress even if I’m not always around you, or texting you, know that I’m HERE and I love you forever and ever. Hawaii changes a person. We may not have all changed in the same way, but we all understand what it feels like to have lived here. That will always tie us together because friends who Hawaii together, stay together.

With that being said, last weekend Amanda came out to visit us in Hawaii one last time before I’m off this little island for good. I got to meet a handful of her new friends and spend some time with her at her favorite spots!

I like to think one day in 50 years we will all meet back on this island and watch the sunset at spitting caves… remembering way back when we were all so damn lucky to live Hawaii.

Military

The Next Step

7:08:00 PM

We're moving to California!

This may come as a surprise to you, and it was to us too! All year Nate and I have been back and forth about whether or not he was going to re-enlist to stay in the Marine Corps when his first contract finished. About halfway through the year we had pretty much decided there was a 90% chance that Nate was going to get out and we would be moving back to Colorado.

Because of fiscal years and other USMC mumbo jumbo, Nate wasn't able to put in his re-enlistment papers until about a month ago. When he got word back, it turned out that he got EXACTLY the orders that he was hoping for, at the duty station he's wanted all along. They gave us about a week (while he's on another continent...that's fine) to decide our entire future (I know - some people have much less time but I'm still salty) and after about 600 phone calls to my mom and $200 worth of data used, Nate and I decided to go all in and he re-enlisted. We made pro con lists and changed our minds about a hundred times, but we are both so excited now that the decision is made! We figured that since we don't have kids and are planning on waiting a while longer, this was the perfect time to live a little and make a decision where we could do a little more adventuring before we settle down.

We were really looking forward to being back in Colorado and close to our friends and family, but now we will only be a short and cheap flight away from home! Living on the mainland will make traveling home (and other places) much cheaper than it has been living here on Oahu. When Nate and I first started dating we looked at our countdown for him to get out of the USMC about 130 times per day, and we never would've seen this coming. But the truth its, the Marine Corps has continually given us opportunities that we never would've had otherwise, and we are so grateful for that. Not to mention, Nate's new orders will have him working less hours, and hopefully not going away quite as often as he does now. Hooray!

If you live in California or near Camp Pendleton, message me or tweet me!
We are looking for houses in the Carlsbad/Oceanside area, let us know if you have any recommendations!

Nate was born in California, I grew up visiting my family there, he did schooling there, and we even got engaged at the San Diego Zoo! Although my heart breaks every day thinking about leaving Hawaii, we are so excited to make more memories in The Golden State! We're looking forward to good food, good sports, good concerts, Disneyland, making new friends, meeting up with old friends, and exploring a new state together. We hope to have a ton of friends and family visit us at our new home once we are settled in early next year! Stay tuned for more details!

Cheers to four more years!

Feed Your Shining Soul

How to Befriend Somebody’s Best Friend

5:57:00 PM

This may seem like a weird topic, but as a military wife, this is all too prevalent in my life. The military life for spouses basically means moving to a brand new place, knowing little to no people, and trying to make a life there. Now if you’re a spouse you’re probably most commonly in the age range of 19-26 (idk statistics, I’m just guesstimating here). Every single person that moves away from home is leaving their family and their BEST friend. Everyone wants to make friends in a new place, but is it that easy?

Where do you fit in?

As an example, I’ll use me and Tash. When I met Tash, we realized immediately that we were both sharers. We probably know more about each other than most other people in our lives do because we know how to TALK. I remember after learning a few basics about her town and family. I said, “Okay, tell me about your best friend.” And she spent hours telling me in detail about all of the important people in her life back home and I did the same. I think that in my eyes, in order to fully know and love someone, you HAVE to know who they love and why. There’s that saying that says you are a combination of your five closest friends. If that’s the case, then I needed to know who made Tasha who she is, because if it’s important to her, it’s important to me.

First of all, respect your friend’s previous friendships. Never let your heart feel jealous and be the FIRST one to support your friend in ALL of her friendships however you may feel about it. The best way to ruin a friendship is to become caddy and start drama between people who have been lifelong friends. You know how when you get married you have in-laws? Well consider these girls your “friends-in-law” and treat them as such. You never want to disrespect someone who your significant other loves, so why would you do it to a friend?

I didn’t go to highschool with Tasha or my other new friends, I didn’t hold their hair back the first time they got drunk, I wasn’t there for their first kiss, we didn’t get to go to prom together, I didn’t see their awkward middle school phase, and that’s OKAY. Old friends are golden. They’re invaluable and I wouldn’t give up any of my friends for the world. Take value in what you and your friends have and never take any of it for granted. Don’t let your old friends feel forgotten, don’t let your new friends feel like they need to compete. Find a balance to where everyone around you knows they have a piece of your heart and that’s the way it should be.

I may not be your first best friend, I may not be your last, and that’s OKAY. I’m so thankful for every single friend and person that my friends have ever had, because they were shaped into someone that I’ve been able to share my soul with. A piece of my heart belongs to every single one of your best friends because anyone who is THERE for my friends, is MY friend too.

I’ve been away from my hometown for almost three years. Some of my friends were more devastated than others when I moved, and it was SOUL CRUSHING for me to leave my friends. I’m telling you guys I have a seriously awesome support system back home. I have a friend for every problem, every occasion, every memory, every rant, every heartache - they’re there. When I left I was like SHIT what are these girls going to do without me?!?!?

But it turns out, they’re fine (…those bitches) and they’ve made new lifelong friendships and that makes my heart SO HAPPY. Unless I have a bad vibe or a bad feeling about someone, I’m 100% all in for my friends having great friends. In a world where everyone is beating each other down, the more people that are around to lift my girls up, the BETTER.

Friendship is not a job and it’s not a competition. Don’t make your friends feel like they’re competing with each other. Don't be scared to enter a friendship because someone "already has friends". That's a dumb excuse. Everyone has something to bring to the table and your friendship might be EXACTLY what someone needs right now.

To my new friend’s old friends:

Thank you for being a friend. Thank you for doing the long sleepless emotional high school nights, the heartbreaks, the homework copying, the long phone calls, the homecoming dress shopping, the ‘I HATE MY PARENTS’ screaming, and the hand holding when life was tough. Thank you for being a real a true friend to our friend and making her feel loved for as long as you’ve known her. Thank you for being our friend’s biggest fan, and spending so many years of your life making her the friend that I have the pleasure of getting to know now.

I promise to do everything I can to support and love our friend. I promise to always value your friendship with her as much as I value all my other friendships. I promise that no matter what, you and I will always be on the same team in making sure that our friend is happy like she deserves to be. I promise that I will never let anyone belittle or put down our friend because I know that’s not what you would want for her. I promise to never let our friend forget all of the perfect amazing memories she made with you and I promise to listen to her tell me the same inside joke between you two, that I’ll never truly understand. This isn’t a passing of a torch, it’s just adding one extra person onto this big happy friend family.

Shout out to my girl’s girls. You da best.

Friends Who Hawaii Together, Stay Together

The Next Step

How to Befriend Somebody’s Best Friend

Where do you fit in?

Marissa

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