Here is how I feel about your attitude for a deployment. If you are CHOOSING to be negative about everything, then your life will continue to be negative. So yeah, if your whole life "stinks", deployment is going to be hell for you and your negative attitude.
Now here's a thought: What if you went into each day being positive, and turned all of your bad, negative thoughts into good ones? Then guess what, your day will start being more positive as well. Same goes with your deployment.
Deployment sucks. There's no doubt about that. I didn't want my husband to leave, I cried weeks building up to the deployment because I didn't want to have to live without him. And I miss him every second of every day. There is not an activity I'm doing that I don't want him there beside me (except watching my shitty shows because I don't need your comments, Nathaniel.......) But really, I have bad days where I just need to Facetime him and see his perfect face. And our wedding songs tug at my heart strings and every time I think of him being gone, my heart hurts. That's the cold hard truth, deployment sucks for all parties involved.
Now, with that being said....
I have had a blast while Nathan has been gone. And guess what? He's been having a lot of fun too... and that is OKAY.
While Nathan has been gone I have made bad ass new friends, worked my ass off, tried new foods, shopped, raised our perfect little guinea pig, I visited home, I hiked Koko Head, I had one of my best friends come visit, I swam with sea turtles, I saw concerts, I went out until sunrise, made one of the best friends I've ever had, I said goodbye to great friends, I swam, I worked out, I tanned, I got a new job, did I mention I've had great food? Above all, I had the most amazing adventures.
My life went on.
Every single day I woke up thinking "what can I do next?"
And because of this, I had potentially the best six months of my life. I was lucky enough to be "stuck" in Hawaii while Nathan was gone, but it doesn't matter where I'm located because life will always go on.
Nate got to go to two countries that a lot of people will never have the opportunity to visit. He worked his ass off, got promoted, started working out everyday, he had to live on a boat, he made great memories with his friends, and had new experiences without me.
The day I dropped Nate off to leave for deployment, I cried for about two hours. Then I washed my face threw on a bikini and went on my first hike in Hawaii. I proceeded on to go eat my first poke bowl, and then I went to Sandys beach for the first time. I surrounded myself with people and things that made my heart so full, I had forgotten why I needed to be crying anyways.
Through the duration of Nate's deployment I have seen so many girls that are so lost and broken without their husbands, having trouble living on without them....
And to them I say this:
Chin up! There is nothing more powerful in this world than positive thoughts. Stop constantly looking for attention with negativity (online or otherwise) and get out and go work on yourself. Surrounding yourself with people that pity you is the worst thing you can do. MAKE PLANS. I'm telling you do as much crap as you can fit into a day, and when you're done, do it again. If you have a full calendar of adventures planned, your month will fly by, have so many fun plans that you will actually be SAD when the month is over. Do things that you can't do while your husband is home. Binge watch bad shows with your girlfriends, have sleepovers every night of the week, sleep with 10 stuffed animals, don't set an alarm, buy the foods he hates that you love, go dancing, blast Taylor Swift and have a dance party by yourself every night!
Do what makes your soul happy. Embrace alone time. Don't be afraid to LOVE it. Appreciate all of the little things in your days that make you happy. Shake off the negative, it's not worth your energy. I'm not telling you to not ever cry, or not ever be sad. Emotions are healthy, I cry nearly every day about something. Miss your husband, miss the hell out of him. We all do. But realize that you have a life to live. In the timeline of your whole lives together what percent is this 6 months, or this year? The smallest percent imaginable. Go out and live your life so that when your husband comes back to you, he's proud of you.
............................................................................................................................
I'm so grateful Nathan was able to go on this deployment. He was excited to do his job and at first I didn't understand that. My whole outlook on deployment was that I thought Nathan was excited to leave me here. Looking back now, I realize how unbelievably ridiculous that was of me. I was focused on all of the negative that surrounded the deployment. Nate was just excited to go do his job. In this, he was growing and becoming a better more respectable person and I'm so so proud of him.
I grew while Nathan was gone too, and I'm happy that I did. With our countdown nearing it's final days, I couldn't be more excited. I can honestly say I have no idea where these last six months went. Because time truly does fly when you're having fun.
Shout out to all of the people who helped me grow in these past six months.
You're incredible. I love you all.
You're incredible. I love you all.
